went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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