i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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