we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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