They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
