i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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