My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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