Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
