the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
