I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
