We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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