i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
