The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
