im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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