Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
