I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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