so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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