Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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