i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
