its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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