I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize