found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
