What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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