Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
