At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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