I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
