one might say we're banned from that church
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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