Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
