i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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