my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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