i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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