very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
