So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
