I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
