oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
