i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Damn victory sex feels great
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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