I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She bit a glass in half.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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