I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
