I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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