It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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