I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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