the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
