he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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