I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
