Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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