every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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