its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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