Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do herpes really smell.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize