I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
