babies were throwing up all over the place
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
