I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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