I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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