It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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