He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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