I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize