your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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